Chopper at Richmond Hill today. Flying around in the rain.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
Mike's Hard Lemonade - A refreshing twist and secret date code. Cheers!
Take a look at the following email correspondence between myself and an amiable Mike's Hard Lemonade representative. I wrote this company to see if their playful, down to earth image was a marketing fabrication or truth. Turns out they are a responsive company with a sense of humor.
-----Original Message-----
From: massemailTest@mikeshard.com [mailto:massemailTest@mikeshard.com]
Sent: October 4, 2009 4:18 PM
To: mike's Consumer Relations
Subject: New Comment submitted
Name: me
Email: me
Subject: Pomegranate Lemonade 10th Anniversary
Message: I enjoy drinking a Mike''s hard lemonade to complement the excellent local beers available in the town of Asheville, NC.
I have recently enjoyed several of your other varieties including a new favorite Pomegranate Lemonade, which I purchased at a local grocery store.
After opening the bottle, I noticed a code on the underside of the cap, with a message saying "enter at mikeshard.com". I usually ignore such marketing strategies, but I thought that I would give it a try, just this once, for Mike''s.
I was perplexed and then disappointed when I navigated to the website and realized that the contest was over.
I was left wondering if I was sold older Mike''s Hard Pomegranate Lemonade, or if the contest had been ended prematurely.
Thank you for your time.
Hey there Will,
Thanks so much for writing in and for the very nice e-mail. To answer your questions, neither one actually. Mike's products stay fresh as a daisy for over a year so chances that it's too old is slim but I'll send you our little code anyway so you can tell just for fun. As far as the contest goes, it ran from May 6th to September 1st but there is actually a law that states that we cannot ask the retailers to pull the product just because it still advertises the sweepstakes. Once they have it, it's in their hands unless of course there is a recall or something to that effect. Our sincere apologies that you didn't get to participate in the sweepstakes, hopefully you'll be able to next time. If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to ask.
You can determine the freshness of your mike's(r) products by doing the following:
The batch code is assigned based on the date of bottling and is applied in black ink to the neck of the bottle. The batch code is derived using the following table:
Batch Code Example:
B1905XXXX XX:XX FL
B= (month) February
19= (day of month - 2 digits) 19th
05= (year) 2005
XXXX= Internal digits
XX:XX = time
FL= saleable in Florida
A= January G= July
B= February H= August
C= March J= September
D= April K= October
E= May L= November
F= June M= December
Once you have determined the batch code date on the bottle - which is the date it was created, then you can do the math to determine how long it has been bottled before you've consumed it.
The following is the optimum freshness life for mike's products:
mikes' hard lemonade (r), mike's hard lime(r), mike's light hard lemonade(r) = 9 months
mikes' hard cranberry lemonade(r), mike's hard berry(r) = 12 months
Cheers,
Mike's Consumer Relations
Sunday, October 4, 2009
This is not the Tour De France, Assholes!!
Hey road bikers!!! I have to talk to you. Quit ogling each others spandex-compressed inadequate packages and pay fucking attention for a minute.
If you ride in a nice single file line, I salute you and your ilk. You may move along.
All of you other pack-riding shit for brains, I throw my burrito at your helmet of ignorance. You want to be safe on the road, ride on the right hand side if you can't go the speed limit. If you are going the speed limit- kudos to you- take the lane, do little S-swerves, just keep that speed going. and you and I can be the best of friends. The following is directed only at you lycra-clowns that can't go anywhere near the speed limit and insist on taking the lane. For your douches riding in big packs, you are a safety hazard. Thanks for making my commute unbearably slow as I struggle not to run you over as you go a whopping 14 mph when the speed limit is 35. You would think that you could pick up the pace a little on your your $2,000 bike, poser. Taking the lane is making you less safe as you are going dangerously slow, pissing me off, and causing me to entertain thoughts of stopping the truck and beating the shit out of you and your buddies. But, I would probably get prosecuted for that.
However, I believe I would not get prosecuted if I tried to pass you and you "bumped" in to the side or front of my vehicle.
Furthermore, now that you haven't let me pass and because I am sick of watching your gelatinous ass try to swallow your poor seat, I am going to accelerate like mad and swerve in right next to you, like the flaming asshole that I am. I will probably yell at you as I go by and will likely continuously blare the horn and rev the engine. And to add insult to injury, I like to ride bikes - I have 5 of them. That common bond serves to increase my hatred of your misguided road riding mentality. "But..but..but...riding is packs is safer. There aren't even any bike lanes where I ride."
Shut up, fool. So there are no bike lanes- cry me a river. Why don't you get off your skinny calf-having ass and start lobbying at your city council meetings?
By riding in a pack, I guarantee that you will piss off every, single car that is lining up behind your slow ass peloton and they will throw food at you and verbally abuse you when they finally get to pass you. I don't give a shit how attention getting your "kit" is, that dayglo spandex is not going to help you when my side view mirror slams your weak ass down on the asphalt.
If you ride single file, you will virtually eliminate the hazard of angry drivers. By the way Lance Armstrong, automobiles cause more deaths of cyclists than any other event.
You are considered a "motor vehicle" by state law and as such you must obey the traffic laws. Read the NCDOT regulations below, or at least read the bold parts because they fucking apply to you:
North Carolina Statutes Related to the Operation of a Bicycle
Following are paraphrased sections of the North Carolina Motor Vehicle Code (from the North Carolina General Statutes) that apply to bicyclists.
20-4.01 Definitions.
(23) Motor Vehicle. – Every vehicle which is self- propelled and every vehicle designed to run upon the highways which is pulled by a self-propelled vehicle. This shall not include mopeds as defined in G.S. 20-4.01(27)d1.
20-146. Drive On Right Side of Highway; Exceptions
(a) Upon all highways of sufficient width a vehicle shall
be driven upon the right half of the highway except as follows:
(1) When overtaking and passing another vehicle proceeding in the same direction under the rules governing such movement;
(2) When an obstruction exists making it necessary to drive to the left of the center of the highway; provided, any person so doing shall yield the right-of-way to all vehicles traveling in the proper direction upon the unobstructed portion of the highway within such distance as to constitute an immediate hazard;
(3) Upon a highway divided into three marked lanes for traffic under the rules applicable thereon; or
(4) Upon a highway designated and signposted for one-way traffic.
Read it and weep, dipshit. You are a motor vehicle and need to get to the fucking right side of the road close as fucking practicable to the fucking right-hand curb, motherfucker. Or keep on suffering the consequences and bitching about "asshole drivers that almost hit me". You are the asshole, asshole.
Yield the right of way, you slow fuckers!!!
Have you ever been driving along on the interstate, and noticed someone behind you flashing their lights or driving too close to your bumper? Well, that someone was me, and if you thought I was mean to you, maybe you need to educate yourself on highway travel.
The NCDOT highway regulations even created a special section to help you drive like a real American; check it out:
20-146. Drive On Right Side of Highway; Exceptions
(a) Upon all highways of sufficient width a vehicle shall
be driven upon the right half of the highway except as follows:
(1) When overtaking and passing another vehicle proceeding in the same direction under the rules governing such movement;
(2) When an obstruction exists making it necessary to drive to the left of the center of the highway; provided, any person so doing shall yield the right-of-way to all vehicles traveling in the proper direction upon the unobstructed portion of the highway within such distance as to constitute an immediate hazard;
(3) Upon a highway divided into three marked lanes for traffic under the rules applicable thereon; or
(4) Upon a highway designated and signposted for one-way traffic.
Here is a quick 3-step summary for those of you who are too comatose to read the regulations;
1. Turn off your blinker, put the cell phone down, and pay attention when you are traveling on the interstate.
2. If you are driving in the left lane, you are driving the speed limit or faster.
3. If you are driving in the right lane, you are driving the speed limit or slower.
If you are perplexed by the highly technical terms "left" and "right", consider this: right refers to the side of your body that your gas pedal foot is attached to, and left is the side of your body to which your "litterin' arm" is appended. Got that? You now have a ticket to drive like a true Patriot! American salutes you. Now stay the fuck out of my way!!
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