Yield the right of way, you slow fuckers!!!

Have you ever been driving along on the interstate, and noticed someone behind you flashing their lights or driving too close to your bumper? Well, that someone was me, and if you thought I was mean to you, maybe you need to educate yourself on highway travel.

The NCDOT highway regulations even created a special section to help you drive like a real American; check it out:

20-146. Drive On Right Side of Highway; Exceptions

(a) Upon all highways of sufficient width a vehicle shall
be driven upon the right half of the highway except as follows:
(1) When overtaking and passing another vehicle proceeding in the same direction under the rules governing such movement;
(2) When an obstruction exists making it necessary to drive to the left of the center of the highway; provided, any person so doing shall yield the right-of-way to all vehicles traveling in the proper direction upon the unobstructed portion of the highway within such distance as to constitute an immediate hazard;
(3) Upon a highway divided into three marked lanes for traffic under the rules applicable thereon; or
(4) Upon a highway designated and signposted for one-way traffic.

(b) Upon all highways any vehicle proceeding at less than the legal maximum speed limit shall be driven in the right-hand lane then available for thru traffic, or as close as practicable to the right-hand curb or edge of the highway, except when overtaking and passing another vehicle proceeding in the same direction or when preparing for a left turn.

Here is a quick 3-step summary for those of you who are too comatose to read the regulations;

1. Turn off your blinker, put the cell phone down, and pay attention when you are traveling on the interstate.

2. If you are driving in the left lane, you are driving the speed limit or faster.

3. If you are driving in the right lane, you are driving the speed limit or slower.

If you are perplexed by the highly technical terms "left" and "right", consider this: right refers to the side of your body that your gas pedal foot is attached to, and left is the side of your body to which your "litterin' arm" is appended. Got that? You now have a ticket to drive like a true Patriot! American salutes you. Now stay the fuck out of my way!!